i want to write the kind of short stories you read in english class that are on this weird level of surrealism that they still haunt you years down the road
things i learned in ancient greek art today:
- Achilles had a gay lover
- Zeus had a boy toy that he thought was pretty so he snatched him up and made him into his wine bitch and kept him under his throne on olympus always
- there was a woman who wanted to be a man so Poseidon changed her sex and then made him impervious to metal weapons to boot
- They made Aphrodite marry a lame and ugly guy and to retaliate she slept with everyone, but mostly Ares.
sounds like high school
finishing a bottle of shampoo and conditioner at the same time is the biggest achievement of my life
“My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. She has lost 30 pounds and weighed about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon…But then I decided to act on it. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders.I began to pamper her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised her and pleased her every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends.You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much.And then I realized one thing: The woman is the reflection of her man.If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.“
- Brad Pitt
Artist Paints Common Foods to Disguise them as Other Foods
no no no NO no no NONONONONononononONONKONONOONONNONONONONONONONONONONNONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONON
thIS ACTUALLY MAKES ME WANT TO CRY
reblogging for the nigga in the back
he dont know wus going on yet he just starts groovin lol
camels r desert moose
or r moose cold camels
what r horse then
My grandma and uncles house caught on fire early this morning, and we REALLY need help with funding for a new house, new utilities, necessities, ect. My grandma is paralyzed on her right side, so she can’t work.
Even if you can’t donate, help by spreading this link around!